My almost four-year-old is in a wonderfully imaginative phase right now—one that has us smiling (and occasionally scratching our heads). Lately, she’s been entertaining us with these elaborate stories about things she’s seen or done. According to her, she’s flown on dragons, baked cakes with the moon, and once had a unicorn as a pet.

She’s not being dishonest in a deceitful way—far from it. In her curious, growing mind, these make-believe adventures quickly become part of her lived experience. Once she tells the story, it’s as if it becomes real to her, folded right into the narrative of her little life. She doesn’t yet have a firm grasp on the line between fantasy and reality, which is completely normal for kids between the ages of 2 and 6. Developmentally, storytelling and pretend play are how young children process the world, explore emotions, and express creativity.

But it made me think about how important it is to be honest – honest with God, honest with our loved ones and friends, and honest with ourselves. As adults, we might not be spinning stories about magical creatures, but we can be just as prone to blurring the lines between what we hope is true and what actually is. We may minimize a struggle, excuse a poor choice, or bury our emotions to appear more “put together” than we really are. We cover up with busyness, humor, or distractions instead of coming into the light with humility.

But God doesn’t require perfection from us—He desires authenticity. Psalm 51:6 says, “Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place.” He wants truth in our innermost being, even when it’s messy.

Why is honesty important?

We all want to raise our children to be honest – not to cheat at school, lie or sneak. For my family, building an understanding of truth in these early ages will be the foundation (I hope) for having those open and candid conversations with my girls when they are teens.

Honesty is more than just telling the truth. It’s about being authentic and encouraging our children to be real with themselves and their friends about who they are. It’s the foundation of strong, genuine and loving relationships. Builds integrity. And it allows us to live a life that is empowering and free.

The Bible teaches us how much God values honesty (Prov. 11:1). Most importantly, we learn that Truth is one of God’s attributes. The Old Testament refers to the Father as the “God of truth” (Deut. 32:4, Ps. 31:5, Is. 65:16). Jesus spoke of himself, “I am the way and the truth and the life” (John 14:6). We see the Holy Spirit is called the “Spirit of truth” (John 14:17). All truth comes from God as the source of everything that is right, just as He is the source of all love in the world.

How to encourage honesty in children

1. Value honesty

Show your child how much you value honesty in your relationship. Explain to them that when they’re honest, they gain your trust which means they can have more freedom in their choices and actions.

2. Be an example

Honesty is a two-way street. My children know that if they ask me a question, I will tell them the truth in an age appropriate way. Whenever possible, keep your promises. If you have to break a promise, explain why and apologize. Think carefully about your own words when speaking with others. Many times, we don’t even realize we are lying. We may exaggerate a story or find ourselves caught telling “white lies” to spare someone’s feelings. These are the perfect learning opportunities for your family!

3. Discuss and teach

Explore what the bible has to say about honesty such as what happened to Abraham (Genesis 20:1-28), Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5), or Achan (Joshua 7). For more ideas, check out the honesty bible stories and activities later in this post.

4. Encourage truth

Let them know you will love them, no matter what. Show understanding and forgiveness when your child is caught in a lie. Then give them an opportunity to rectify the situation: “I’m going to give you a moment to think about what you told me, and then I’d love to hear the truth about what happened”. Acknowledge that telling the truth must have been very hard for them and how glad you are that they did.

5. Expect it

Give your child logical consequences, instead of punishment. How are they different? Punishment is rooted in anger and retribution whereas consequences are the direct result of an action. The goal of consequences is to help our children make a better choice the next time. It encourages them to accept responsibility for their actions and helps them learn from their mistakes. For example, when my daughter tried to get away with sneaking a cookie from the cupboard, my logical consequence was “no treats” for a set period of time.

Teaching Kids About Honesty:

Zacchaeus – The Honest Tax Collector

One of my favorite stories to teach about the value of honesty is the story of Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10). One day Jesus traveled through a town named Jericho on his way to Jerusalem. A big crowd had gathered to see him, including a man named Zacchaeus who worked as a tax collector. Tax collectors gathered money from the people to give to the government. Some of them were dishonest and took more money than they were supposed to and kept the extra coins for themselves. Zacchaeus wasn’t honest. He got very rich from other people’s money.

But then Zacchaeus met Jesus. He was curious about who he was and climbed a tree to see Jesus over the crowds (he was very short). As Jesus came by, he stopped right under the tree where Zacchaeus was waiting. Jesus looked up at Zacchaeus and told him to come down because he wanted to have a visit with him at his house!

When we have done something wrong, like Zacchaeus had, it can be hard to tell the truth. We might be tempted to lie so that we don’t get in trouble or disappoint other people. But lying always hurts us and separates us from the people we love. Being honest sets us free and connects us together.

Zacchaeus eagerly took Jesus home with him. He felt God’s love and forgiveness for all his dishonesty in the past. Meeting Jesus changed his heart. He wanted to make things right! He promised to give 4 x more than he took and shared his wealth with the poor. He became a follower of Jesus and lived his life with honesty in both his words and actions.

discussion

1. Who was Zacchaeus?
2. Why didn’t people like him?
3. How did Jesus treat Zacchaeus?
4. How did Zacchaeus change after meeting Jesus?
5. Why is honesty important in our relationships with other people?

memory verse

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

( 1 JOHN 3:18 NIV)

An Object Lesson about Honesty

Use this hands-on activity to show how lies separate us from God and our loved ones while honesty and forgiveness connect us together.

Materials:

For this object lesson you will need two magnet bars with N/S poles.

Lesson:

Give your child one bar magnet and hold the other. Slowly move the bar magnets together with the same poles facing each other (both are N or both are S).

What happened?

Can you feel the force pushing each magnet away from each other?

Lies are like this magnetic force that separates us from God and from the people we love.

Now flip one bar magnet over so that opposite poles face each other and try the same experiment (one N and one S).

What happened this time?

Can you feel how the force now pulls the magnets towards each other and connects them together? Try to separate them and you can feel how strong this new bond is between them!

Being open, honest and forgiving one another for our past mistakes is the “glue” that binds us together. It builds strong relationships with the people we love and with Jesus.

Honesty Acrostic Poem Activity

1. Write the word HONESTY down on your paper vertically or sign up for our Newsletter and Stay Connected at the end of this post to download and print your Free HONESTY Poem template in the printables below. Capitalize each letter!
2. Brainstorm words and ideas that describe what honesty means to you.
3. Now look at your ideas. Start each line of your poem with a phrase that begins with the capital letters you wrote down. This can be tricky but fun!

We finished our lesson by coming up with an Honesty Affirmation to remember the kind of person we want to be. 

I am true to myself

I stand up for what is right

I am honest and truthful in all I say and do.

Come up with your own or sign up for our Newsletter and Stay Connected at the end of this post to download our free printable cards featuring our lesson’s Key Bible Verse and Honesty Affirmation for them to memorize and recite.

Share your creations with us in the comments below! ~Jacqueline